Did The Holy Spirit Leave Me When I Got Married?

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)

I’ve heard many Christian brothers and sisters who were single Christians before being married say that marriage is a different ball game. Christian brothers and sisters who’ve been married for some time always reflect back to the reality of 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 in their marriage and Christian walk. I’ve heard them say that before they were married they were “sold out” for the Lord. I’ve only been married for 10 months, and I too can remember when I was “sold out” for the Lord. So what does that mean? Is the Holy Spirit no longer working through me or other married couples because we are no longer “anxious about the things of the Lord” like our single brothers and sisters are? Of course that isn’t true. The Holy Spirit is always working in all believers, married and single. For the married believer, it's true, we're “anxious about worldly things, how to please our spouses.” Is it an ungodly thing? Not at all. Married couples interest are divided, but the ministry of the Holy Spirit is the same, to “glorify Christ.” Where the single Christian may be free to minister for the Lord in a certain way without pursuing someone who is one with them, they are able to seek the Lord with clarity at first pursuit. The married Christian must first seek the pleasure of his or her spouse. In doing so, he or she is not dishonoring the Lord.

Being that his or her interest are divided they must honor the Lord by honoring their spouse. Same desire to please the Lord, it just looks and “feels” a little different from the single Christian. God gives us commands on how to love our wives (men) or respect our husbands (women). He gives us these commands because the Holy Spirit continues His ministry also in married Christians. The married Christian is one with another person, and the single Christian has his or herself in Christ. The married Christian is called daily to work out the ministry of marriage through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It’s an up close and personal, face to face, grace-giving and receiving ministry. And in the process God calls the husband and wife to look to and receive the gospel every step of the way. The single Christian may receive and give the gospel freely on the "mountaintop" of their ministry. While daily pursuing the "mountaintop" of their ministry, the married Christian has someone to receive and give the gospel to, day in and day out. The married ministry speaks for itself, and the Holy Spirit is at work in both individuals who are one in Christ. Jesus is their prize and their hope, and the Holy Spirit makes sure that they both remember that truth through day to day living and application.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)